Greetings friends and family,
It is an honour to write to you all again, and thank you so much for reading these entries. Quite a bit of time has passed since previously reaching out, and I sincerely apologize. A part of me feels I may have left some of you down by cancelling gigs and not being there for you, but I had to be there for myself. It isn't easy to make such a decision, and it does powerfully hit when it is mandatory.
It comes with no shock at all that I had to back away from the "spotlight" completely, as the loss of my brother after experiencing shock from the Divorce, the loss of a job for 7 years, and trying to keep a business afloat became too much for me to handle. Daily life became too loud and I couldn't think straight anymore.
I am reminded of a dear friend and therapist saying to me, "Do you want to numb it? Or do you want to feel it?" when it was mentioned I may need medication to get through.
She knows how I am. I could hear it in her voice.
I chose to feel it.
So, I took the summer off and landed a Guest Services position at Fox Harb'r Resort where I worked while the boys were with their father. Working away from the community I had once supported so dearly felt like a vacation as I would drive to Wallace, N.S., stay for a few days, and drive back. A lot of Spiritual healing resulted in those drives, and I'm eternally grateful for Spirit granting this time; regardless of the small amount of weight gain as a result.
This break also birthed an "Oreo Cookie Summer" that officially commenced on my late brother's birthday (July 15) as I had to make a choice. Were we going to dwell? Or were we going to live? (were we going to numb it, or feel it?)
So we lived it, and felt it.
I don't even remember packing the bags. All I could think about were the travelling camping trips as a family and how much I've been aching for these days ever since the boys were born. This impromptu trip took us travelling to almost every lighthouse in Nova Scotia, visiting plenty of fishing villages, driving over to the two ferries to Brier Island, travelling throughout the Cape Breton Highlands, and ended at Fox Harb'r Resort where we experienced a bit of relaxation and recuperation before heading back to school. It even resulted in my new very best friend, someone just as in love with the woods as I am, coming with us for our Cape Breton trip. The boys absolutely love him, too, so I can finally breathe.
We spent the summer nourishing our Earth Element. We ate, we drank, and we let all worries fall to the wayside. Well, as much as possible, I should say.
To ensure this summer isn't lost, I created a collage video and used our song "Oreo Cookie Day" as its audio. With the boys permission, I wish to share this video with you in hopes that it brings you back to those times we hold so dearly. Being a parent is not a light feat, and it all "comes out in the wash", anyway--even fresh dried mud and campfire--so don't take this all so seriously. Easier said than done, I know, but don't. Spend that energy doing something you love to do.
I leave you with a reminder that life is a gift with an expiration date. Get out there and see things with friends and family, even solo, before it is too late.
Also, it is completely okay to change, and to do the unexpected. We are here to learn and heal, so don't ever feel bad when mistakes and healing take place. I mean, how beautiful is a snow globe that isn't shaken up every once in a while.
Without any further adieu, I present our "Oreo Cookie Day" summer.
Thank you for walking with me.
With love, always.
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